A year and a half ago, this handsome fox and I tied the knot.

And, as everyone had promised, that magical day really was just the starting line for bigger adventures to come.

It feels crazy, really, looking back on all that has happened in that short amount of time. From finally moving in together after we got married, to fixing up and putting Barclay’s 120-yr-old house on the rental market, to jumping through a hundred hoops to get our Spanish visas, to sorting through and giving away nearly everything we both owned, to packing up what was left into a handful of suitcases for our big move, to saying good-bye to everyone and everything we loved back in Kansas City, to flying across the ocean with our two pups to begin this new chapter in Spain, to moving flats yet again a few weeks after we arrived, to making the most of cheap airline tickets and traveling around Europe as much as possible, to hosting nearly a hundred days of visitors here in Barcelona, to the endless daily adventures that have come with learning a new language, a new culture, a new social circle, and a new rhythm here in this country we call home — the past year and a half has been a wild and wonderful whirlwind, to be sure.

Still, our biggest adventure through it all has been just the ordinary, behind-the-scenes, everyday-ness of learning how on earth to be married. ♡

I feel like the two of us went into marriage fully “expecting the unexpected”, ready to pivot and learn and deal with lots of new curveballs that would be coming our way. But to be honest, we’ve both been a bit surprised by how unsurprising marriage has been so far, in the best of ways! Maybe it’s because we got married later in life and had already done some of the deep work to know our own selves well, maybe it was years of honest conversations and counseling together as a couple before we ever tied the knot, or maybe we’ve just been exceptionally lucky to have a relatively smooth ride thus far. Whatever the reasons, both Barclay and I have been pleasantly surprised at how the transition into a new season of life together as the has felt like the most normal, natural thing in the world.

We’re love being married!

For sure, though, there have still been a few little surprises that we didn’t see coming with this whole marriage biz. So in honor of Valentine’s Day this week, I thought I would dust off our old 10 Things I’ve Learned series and share a few.

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“I am a firm believer that every few years one needs to shake one’s life through a sieve, like a miner in the Yukon. The gold nuggets remain. The rest falls through like the soft earth it is.” ~Amy Pohler, Yes, Please

We actually did it.

After years and years of wanting to try working remotely for an extended period from another city, my friend Kathryne and I finally did it. We packed up our cameras and our computers and our cooking gear and our capsule wardrobes and our cute little crumb-catchers, and hit the road for an 11-hour road trip, and we finally did it. We did Austin.

And it was awesome.

Oh man, a part of me doesn’t even know where to begin with talking about our month in Texas. It was an intense, fast-paced, fun, wonderful whirlwind of a trip. And I think it’s no exaggeration to say that we lived up every second of our time there. But now that I am back home, the dust is starting to settle and I’m slowly starting to feel All Of The Feelings about the transition back home, and the reality of everything that was shaken up in my mind and heart. A lot happened while we were there, but in some ways I feel like even more was happening inside of me. So now I’m slowly starting to sift through it all, and see what gold nuggets of the Austin experience need to remain, what needs to fall through like the soft earth.

Knowing me, that process will definitely take more than a few days. But since the million-dollar question of the week has been, “How was Austin?!?”, I thought I’d start by at least sharing some of my initial reflections. Of course, 10 Things I’ve Learned style, since that’s how I roll.

Here goes, y’all… :)

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There are so many good friends I have met over the past few years who make me feel like we’ve known one another our whole lives. But today’s contributor to our 10 Things I’ve Learned series is actually someone I have known for most of my life.

Everyone, meet Erin.

I actually met Erin way back in the awkward days of braces and the Backstreet Boys thanks to my sister. Sarah and Erin became fast friends back in middle school, and just as quickly, it felt like Erin became part of our family. (Since she comes from a family of brothers, we were happy to adopt her as an honorary “third sister” whenever she came over.)  From long afternoons spent swimming at our next door neighbor’s pool, to birthday parties, to family trips, to graduations and more, Erin was a part of so many of the big occasions and everyday tiny moments of our family’s life, and we were all the better for it. Because Erin has a way of making any situation all the more awesome.

First off, let me just tell you that this girl is smart. Like, super smart. For example, she’s graduating from residency this month (big yay!) and will finally be able to live out her life-long dream of beginning her practice in family medicine. But everyone loves to be around her because she’s the cool, curious, humble, fascinating, kind, and hilarious kind of smart. She’s someone whose opinions I’m always curious to hear, whether they be about the government, health care, religion, dating, or (her favorite subject) Queen Elizabeth. And between years spent growing up as a pastor’s kid, having a brother in politics, years of crazy experiences in med school that would rival Grey’s Anatomy, faithfully “getting out there” and trying online dating, and just generally being someone who gets to know all sorts of people, I say this without exaggeration — Erin tells the best stories. The best. :)

But aside from the fact that she lives very fascinating and thoughtful life — and has even continued to do so despite the insane demands on her time during years of med school and residency — anyone who knows Erin simply loves her because she loves people well.  She is a natural “connector” and has always been the girl who’s great at gathering together people whom she thinks would enjoy one another. But even more impressive, I think, is that she’s the girl who stays connected to everyone and actually makes the time to stay in touch with people as seasons change. My sister may live a plane ride away in Chicago, but it goes without saying that Erin is one of her closest friends, as so many others would also say. I was one of the lucky ones, because life somehow had it that her residency was in KC and she now lives just blocks away from me downtown. (And yes, now I’m totally hoping that she’ll be my doctor too!)  But through the miles and through the years, Erin is someone I admire for continuing to stick with people in her life, and love them unconditionally through the ups and downs of it all.

Anyway, I think she’s pretty awesome. So I’m thrilled that she took the time — even in her crazy last month of residency — to jot down 10 things that she has learned. I’m sure you’ll all enjoy. Thanks, Erin!

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I didn’t have to go far to track down today’s contributor for our 10 Things I’ve Learned series. This cool chick (along with her Spanish husband and Frenchie dog) actually lives just down the hall from me. Actually, she lives in my old loft!

Meet my neighbor, Cynthia.

Cynthia and I actually first met a little over a year ago at a Neighbor Nights progressive dinner in my loft building. She and her husband, Joan, lived in the neighborhood a few blocks away and were invited by some friends to join. And by the end of the night, they had fallen so in love with our building and group of friends that they decided to nab my apartment which was going up for rent the next week. And I’m so glad they did. Because Cynthia has turned into one of my favorite neighbors ever. And more importantly, one of my good friends. Why?

Well first off, this girl is absolutely hilarious, usually in the most understated takes-a-few-seconds-to-sink-in-and-then-you-get-it-and-laugh-until-the-tears-come-down sort of way. Which typically makes her the life of a party, and also makes her a terrific friend for someone like me who tends to take life a little too seriously. ;)  But while she can have you rolling with laughter one moment, she can also “go there with you” in deep conversations in the next, offering that wonderful mix of honesty and encouragement and vulnerability and positivity that are so priceless in a friendship. I see this play out in her marriage with her husband as well, which many of our friends will note is one of the coolest and most inspiring relationships we know. The mutual respect, admiration, ease, and endless laughter that these two share makes them a delight to be around. Not to mention that they know how to cook some killer paella together. ;)

Cynthia is also the person I look to to when it comes to decisions with work/life balance. (My mantra is WWCD — “What would Cynthia do?)  As she explains below, living for 6+ years in Spain pretty dramatically changed her perspective on what it means to live a balanced life. And even though she landed a job at a prestigious company when she moved back to Kansas City (that has a wide reputation for workaholism), Cynthia has refused to cave into the pressure and let work define her. Instead, she works very hard at work…and then comes home in time for dinner. And then she fills her evenings and time off with all sorts of good friends, great trips, delicious food, lots of time with her pup, and all of the other things that make life meaningful. And we all love her for it.

Anyway, I obviously won the double lottery getting to have Cynthia as a friend and my down-the-hall neighbor. So I’m excited to introduce you to her today, and have her share 10 things she has learned in life. Here she is…

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Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! We’re back today with a new post in our 10 Things I’ve Learned series, and it’s one I have really been looking forward to because it’s from my friend, Amanda.

If I had to go all Barbara Walters on you and name the 10 most fascinating people I know, without a doubt, Amanda would have a spot on that list. I find her life completely fascinating and inspiring on all sorts of levels.

First off, let just me tell you — this girl is smart. She was rocking smart back before smart girls were the hit of the web. But more importantly, she’s the confident and curious and humble and thoughtful and well-rounded kind of smart, which I especially love and respect. She also has a kick-ass smart job, working for the State Historic Preservation Office at the Kansas Historical Society, servings as a survey coordinator and helping communities identify their historic resources. Which, in a nutshell basically means that she knows practically all of the buildings in the state, the history behind them, and can offer compelling arguments for why and how they could be preserved. It’s a topic she’s incredibly passionate and knowledgable about — yes, she’s probably my only friend who will shed a tear over a building — and it amazes me to think about the very tangible legacy that her work is leaving in my home state. So inspiring.

Amanda is also someone who is fiercely loyal. As a 6 on the Enenagram, she is someone who sinks deep roots into her relationships. And whether those be with her family (who she spends lots of time with regularly), her friends (most of whom go way way back), her book club (she was one of our early bird founders), or her coworkers and beyond, Amanda is someone who really models for me what it looks like to stick with people in life and stay true to yourself as relationships grow and change. We need more Amandas in our world, for this very reason.

Also cool?!? A few years ago, Amanda courageously followed her dream and moved out of the city and into a cool old farmhouse outside of Lawrence where she is literally surrounded by fields as far as the eye can see. (Double props to her for courageously doing this as a single girl!)  She also loves to get out of Kansas, and has lived and traveled abroad to all sorts of fascinating places. She is also a very talented musician and singer and opera-aficionado, and you know, managed to track down Placido Domingo in a performance this past month while she was in Florence like it was no big deal (jealous!). And I would also like to add that she has an incredibly generous heart, and serves and volunteers regularly all over the place in ways that make a very real difference.

Basically, she’s just pretty great. And I am so grateful to have a kind-hearted, brave, thoughtful, fun, and awesome friend like her in my life. So I’m really excited to introduce you to her today, and for her to share with you 10 things that she has learned in life. I know you’ll enjoy them!

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For the past 8 or so years, I’ve played in the worship band at my church, and love it. Oh man, there are so many reasons why I love it. But in addition to the music and worship and all of that good stuff, one of the things I look forward to most about those Sunday mornings is getting to hang out with the other members of the band. There are lots and lots of musicians who rotate as members of the band, but I have consistently blown away over the years by all of them, not just by their talent, but by what incredible people they are. And today I’m happy for you to meet one of them — my friend Kevin.

Since I met Kevin while playing in the band, I feel like I should start off by mentioning that Kevin is indeed a terrific bass player, and a skilled and thoughtful musician in general. (For those of you in the Christian music circles, you might be interested to know that he played bass with David Crowder back in the day down in Texas!)  But today Kevin and his super-cool wife, Julie, and their three young kids make their home in Kansas City, where he is the senior VP for a national community development nonprofit that builds affordable housing, counsels new homebuyers, and works to make neighborhoods across the US great places to be. It’s fascinating and important work, and he’s incredibly passionate about it and works hard to give the job his best.

But perhaps more importantly, Kevin is one of those guys who also gives his best to life outside of work. He is a very intentional guy, and as such, I will vouch that this has resulted in a life characterized by a lot of wisdom, selflessness, adventure, humility, sincerity, faithfulness, hard work, creativity, traveling, bicycle-riding, thoughtful-parenting, home-fixer-uppping, and lots of fun. Oh yes. Any glance at his Facebook feed and photos of their family adventures will tell you that they know how to have fun. :)

But one of the things I admire most about Kevin is his posture in life for learning, and the value he places on learning how to do things well. In our overcommitted world where people too often try to do All The Things (at 100mph), Kevin is one of those friends who has learned the value of focusing in on a few things at a time, and doing them with excellence. I have watched that prove true in things like learning how to upholster a vintage couch, or becoming an expert bike-rider, or writing his first novel, or any number of other projects and passions that come up in his life. But he also does the same with relationships, and is one of the most focused and attentive people I know, always listening carefully, asking good questions, following up, and generally being very present in conversations. It has earned him my total respect and the respect of so many others, and always inspires me to want to be more present with the people in my life.

And, I must say, the overflow of all of this is a life that’s full of loads and loads of wisdom. I’m crossing my fingers that he writes more in the future to share some more of that wisdom with the world. :)

But today, we at least get a glimpse, as Kevin is here sharing 10 things that he’s learned in life. It’s good stuff. Enjoy!

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They say that you can’t do life alone. And I would argue that the same absolutely holds true for blogging.

Thankfully, I’ve had the chance to become friends — genuine friends — with many incredible bloggers over the past few years who can relate to all of the quirky ins and outs of this career. And one of the friends who has become especially important in my life over the past year is this girl — Kate, the creator and half of the namesake behind the popular vegetarian blog, Cookie & Kate.

Kate (or Kathryne, as her friends call her) is one of those girls who can basically do anything, and do it well. She’s a former magazine art director and has an incredible eye for all things artistic and beautiful, and stays on top of All The Trends in everything from food to fashion to interior design to WordPress plugins. She is a super techie and worked for months to create and design and code her entire blog (and trademark it herself), which most bloggers would kill to know how to do. She is probably the most meticulous and creative and passionate recipe developer I know. And she is one of the hardest working bloggers I know, running her blog entirely on her own. And, in a blogosphere where grammar is seemingly less and less important, I would like to especially point out that this girl knows how to write well.

But while her talent and incredible work ethic inspire me, I am most grateful to have Kathryne in my life as a friend. Make that an awesome friend. Our jobs have us both working from home alone for a good chunk of the day, and as such, Kathryne has become one of the friends I’m constantly iMessage-ing back and forth with all day long. Whether that be asking each other a zillion questions about blogging (she was a huge help with my new site design), swapping stories about dating (she’s one of the literal handful of other bloggers I know who is also single), or just checking in on some of the daily highs and lows of work, I so appreciate that she’s one of the people in my life who asks me about my day…and genuinely listens…and “gets it”, since much of our lives and work lives seem to overlap. I also appreciate that she’s one of the most honest people I know, and will tell it to you like it is, give you meaningful encouragement, and also vulnerably open up and share about her own life.

That said, I’m also stoked that she is game for adventure because we’re planning an epic friendcation to go spend this February in Austin together!!! Yep, neither of us like Kansas City winters, so we’re packing up our camera equipment and our dogs and flying driving south for the winter to work remotely in the land of tacos and techies and Tim Riggins. I cannot WAIT. More stories to come as we share a tiny kitchen together while food blogging for a month, but I’m thrilled to have a friend like her to travel with. It’s going to be fun!

Anyway, enough of me talking. Without further ado, here’s Kate sharing 10 things she has learned about life.

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Hey everyone! I promise I didn’t forget about our 10 Things I’ve Learned series here on the blog. (And apparently, neither did you — thank you so much to all of you who sent kind emails asking about it.)  Things have been a little crazy here behind the scenes as I’ve been working on a new project, so I took a temporary mini-break with some of the series on the blog over the summer. But in honor of television’s season premiere month, we’re back and kicking off what I’m fondly calling Season 2 of this series with a lineup of some great people who I’m excited for you to meet.

First up is my good friend, Maureen. Although most people close to her call her Moe, and most of us like to spell it the fancy French way, Maux. This girl is all sorts of cool. And I credit her with having taught me so much — probably much more than she even knows — about life these past few years, especially what it means to live a meaningful one. Because that’s precisely what she does.

You see, one of the things I love about Maux is how she balances a life that is both deeply global, yet also deeply rooted locally at home.  She has quite literally traveled the world, having lived for awhile in Hong Kong, worked with various countries in Africa (and earned a masters degree in African studies), and visited all sorts of other interesting places. But while life now finds her married and living in the Midwest, she is still just as interested and involved in important things happening around the world. So whether that means spending considerable time staying up on current world events, or digging down deep to study the actual-factual truth about international aid, or supporting and even blogging for cool non-profits that she believes in, or (my favorite) organizing classes and initiating fascinating conversations about social justice…Maux’s on it. She’s a natural leader, and people listen closely to what she has to say because it’s clear that this girl knows a lot and cares a lot about this world we live in.

At the same time, Maux is also deeply invested in her family, and friends, and community here at home. She is totally “that friend” that all social circles need who will step up to the plate and help initiate and/or organize everything from happy hours, to events, to trips, even to my beloved book club. (Actually, it’s kind of astonishing how many of my favorite memories are probably directly linked to her initiative, which I so deeply appreciate.)  But much more, Maux is the friend that takes the time to just be a good friend. She’s the friend who remembers things and checks in, she’s the friend who will shoot it to you straight, she’s the friend who will make you believe you can do it, she’s the friend who miraculously turns all sorts of “dog people” into cat lovers, she’s the friend who will drop everything to help someone who needs a hand, and she’s the witty, charismatic, smart, giving, intuitive, talented, spiritual, brave, wine-loving, Arrested-Development-quoting, #caturday-gramming, and awesome girl you basically just want to hang with as often as possible. I credit her specifically with having taught me what it looks like to live life with confidence and strength I didn’t always know I had, and most of that I learn just by watching her live that out well herself. Yes. Very grateful for this friend.

So lucky you! Today it’s your turn to get to “hang” with Maureen as she shares with you 10 things she has learned in life. Go Maux!

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Thought I’d do a little #TBT post today back to 2004. The year I turned 21.

To set the stage…

I was living in Winfield, Kansas, getting ready to graduate early with a music degree from my little Midwestern college, while working as an accompanist to help pay for school, and traveling with a band on the weekends. My parents had just bought me a fancy (and heavy) new thing called an “iPod”, which I dialed to play Maroon5 and Switchfoot incessantly. I knew how to cook a grand total of about 10 things that I learned from allrecipes.com. I used MSN Messenger and a Razr phone to chat it up with all of my friends. It was the year of Ron Burgundy and Napoleon Dynamite, my roommates and I were obsessed with all of the “story” shows on TLC, and we bid farewell to our Friends and cried happy tears when Rachel Green “got off the plane”. A friend had just introduced me to this thing called “The Facebook” at her college. I had just saved up to buy my first (pink) electric guitar. And I was very ready to graduate and dive into a new career and meet that husband who I assumed was waiting just around the corner and get going with the life of my dreams.

Oh, and I was single.

And if you would have asked me then, I would never have dreamed — not for a hot second — that I’d still be single 10 years later.

But guess what 21-year-old me? That’s the way the cookie crumbled. And it turns out that, after decade of (mostly) singleness, it’s not nearly the sob story that I thought it might be. In fact, quite the opposite. Life has turned out to be pretty great, single and all.

But hey, there are always things we wish we would have known “back then”. So since I’m a sucker for those sort of cheesy posts where people dispense sage advice to their younger selves, I thought I’d offer one today to my single self a decade ago. Or better, as a reminder to myself (or anyone else) today. So at age 31, here are my thoughts…

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Happy Sunday, friends! We’re finally back with another post in our “10 Things I’ve Learned” series. And I’m happy that our guest-poster today is my lovely, long-time friend, Meg.

I actually met this pretty girl back in the year 2000, when my high school boyfriend took me to his “cool friend, Meg’s” house for a party after prom. I instantly saw a spark of a kindred spirit in this artsy, people-loving, deep-question-asking, song-writing, faith-seeking, life-celebrating girl. And as luck would have it, our paths crossed again for a year attending the same small liberal arts college and we became friends. Then our paths crossed again while doing an AmeriCorps stint in Dallas. And now, she is one of the friends I rearrange my schedule to make sure that I see anytime we’re both in Wichita with our families over the holidays, with hopefully a road trip to visit one another at least once a year in between when we can stay up for hours and hours talking just like in college and also make sweet treats like these.  So yep, 14 years of friendship in, I’d say she’s a keeper. :)

Back in college, Meg had big dreams of moving to Portland and “making it” as a successful designer. But then a cute Oklahoma farmboy came into the picture and swept her off her feet. (Sound like any other blogger you know?)  And now life finds the two of them living in a tiny farmhouse in rural Oklahoma, with Meg spending her days raising a cute toddler, preparing for a baby brother to join him any day now, making everything you can imagine “homemade”, and running a successful design business and lifestyle blog called Bringing Design Home. To say that her life took a different course than planned is an understatement, and letting go of some of those dreams hasn’t always been easy, which she discusses below. But with her trademark strength and creativity and bravery and general awesomeness, she has come to fully embrace her modern farm life story, and is now positively thriving.

I like to tell people that she’s the girl who actually lives out all of those cool things you see on Pinterest. Whether that means learning how to do everything naturally and homemade (she’s the queen of canning), investing deeply in relationships within her community, remodeling her current farmhouse and working with her architect-husband to design and build the modern farmhouse of their dreams (themselves, of course), creating a little nook in the blogosophere that feels like “home”, constantly pushing herself to learn more about the design world she loves, and cultivating a marriage and a family that’s overflowing with love and joy and generosity — yeah, this girl is leaving a pretty incredible legacy in this world.

I definitely have learned a lot from her over the years. So I’m stoked that she has taken the time to share 10 of those things here with you today. You won’t want to miss them.

So coming to you live from Oklahoma, here’s Meg… :)

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